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IGN Review of Rock University Presents: Naked Brothers Band
Who told Nickelodeon they could be the Disney Channel? I mean it's fine if they want to jump in on the teenage-television-stars-that-are-also-hit-musicians band wagon here, but if they're going to try and compete with Hannah Montana they better freaking bring it. None of this Drake and Josh junk. And certainly not The Naked Brothers Band, who now have a music game so terrible that I can't even classify it as such. This game gets its own genre: cacophony.
The Naked Brothers Band is a group of prepubescent hooligans that go on wacky adventures in a Nickelodeon TV show while performing their awful music.
I've only just recovered from the trauma of the Wii and PS2 versions of this game, so starting in on a miniature version is just enough NBB to make me relapse. With that said, the DS version is the best of the three games. With that said, the DS version is still so terrible I wanted to stab myself in the ears.
The Naked Brothers has players take control of the entire band as they travel the country to play charity concerts. Between some of the sets there are frozen model cut scenes that advance the plot of the horrendous story (the evil record company wants to actually make money on this concert!) or just to tell some jokes. Alex Wolff, the drummer, wants to throw his drumsticks to his fans, but that's too cliché. So he wraps his socks around them before hurling them into the crowd. Oh, what a kidder! Is that supposed to be cool?
During the songs players control every member of the band, switching between the instruments at intervals. Every instrument (including singing) is controlled with the touch screen. While some of them, like the guitar and cello, attempt to imitate the motions of the real instruments, others like the bass and keyboard are barely interactive, let alone fun.
The gameplay rarely ever matches up with the song. The keyboard gameplay sometimes has players slide the stylus across the keys to imitate a glissando, but never when there is actually a glissando in the song.
You also can't ever focus on one instrument. You have to play all of them, including the absolutely ridiculous vocal section where you trace a pitch bar that isn't even following the pitch of the song.
The difficulty never gets above insultingly simple, even on hard mode. I think 10-year old kids can figure out how to fake strum a guitar to the melody of a song. It's not like the developers added any key changes or variation of any kind to the instruments.
All the extra features could have been cool but are instead useless. Saving a video lets you watch it afterwards, but unless you edit it to make it switch cameras it's just going to show a horribly undetailed faraway shot of the stage. I have to spend 15 minutes fixing this video and at the end it's still a terrible looking montage of poorly rendered kids acting like robots on stage.
But none of this really matters, because even if the gameplay was awesome and you could watch sweet videos of these kids rocking out, it wouldn't change the fact that these are the worst songs I've ever heard in any music rhythm game. The singer squeaks and whines like a boy going through puberty (which he is). The lyrics are insipid at best and completely bat crap loco at worst. At least the Wii and PS2 versions showed the lyrics so you could laugh at how nonsensical Nat Wolf's songwriting is.
©2008-11-25, IGN Entertainment, Inc. All Rights Reserved
The Naked Brothers Band is a group of prepubescent hooligans that go on wacky adventures in a Nickelodeon TV show while performing their awful music.
I've only just recovered from the trauma of the Wii and PS2 versions of this game, so starting in on a miniature version is just enough NBB to make me relapse. With that said, the DS version is the best of the three games. With that said, the DS version is still so terrible I wanted to stab myself in the ears.
The Naked Brothers has players take control of the entire band as they travel the country to play charity concerts. Between some of the sets there are frozen model cut scenes that advance the plot of the horrendous story (the evil record company wants to actually make money on this concert!) or just to tell some jokes. Alex Wolff, the drummer, wants to throw his drumsticks to his fans, but that's too cliché. So he wraps his socks around them before hurling them into the crowd. Oh, what a kidder! Is that supposed to be cool?
During the songs players control every member of the band, switching between the instruments at intervals. Every instrument (including singing) is controlled with the touch screen. While some of them, like the guitar and cello, attempt to imitate the motions of the real instruments, others like the bass and keyboard are barely interactive, let alone fun.
The gameplay rarely ever matches up with the song. The keyboard gameplay sometimes has players slide the stylus across the keys to imitate a glissando, but never when there is actually a glissando in the song.
You also can't ever focus on one instrument. You have to play all of them, including the absolutely ridiculous vocal section where you trace a pitch bar that isn't even following the pitch of the song.
The difficulty never gets above insultingly simple, even on hard mode. I think 10-year old kids can figure out how to fake strum a guitar to the melody of a song. It's not like the developers added any key changes or variation of any kind to the instruments.
All the extra features could have been cool but are instead useless. Saving a video lets you watch it afterwards, but unless you edit it to make it switch cameras it's just going to show a horribly undetailed faraway shot of the stage. I have to spend 15 minutes fixing this video and at the end it's still a terrible looking montage of poorly rendered kids acting like robots on stage.
But none of this really matters, because even if the gameplay was awesome and you could watch sweet videos of these kids rocking out, it wouldn't change the fact that these are the worst songs I've ever heard in any music rhythm game. The singer squeaks and whines like a boy going through puberty (which he is). The lyrics are insipid at best and completely bat crap loco at worst. At least the Wii and PS2 versions showed the lyrics so you could laugh at how nonsensical Nat Wolf's songwriting is.
©2008-11-25, IGN Entertainment, Inc. All Rights Reserved