Pimp My Ride for PlayStation 2 Reviews by Gamers

How's that for an opening to a review? People have been wandering over to my desk all week, asking me what I think of the latest Activision Value title. The answer is always the same.

"Sucks."

It's too bad, too, because there's potential in Pimp My Ride for a solid game. I also just sent a friend request on Myspace to Xzibit, the host of the MTV turn-your-hoopty-into-headturner reality show. And frankly I want him to accept so I can slip him casually into my Top 8 and be the envy of all my friends. Thankfully, his Myspace page is plastered on the back of the Pimp My Ride box, which may just be the best part about this misguided effort.

Quick. Make a list of all the things that should be in a Pimp My Ride game. Licensed junk heaps that are turned into tricked-out dream cars? How about the customization team at Galpin Auto Sports and Mad Mike, the car-lovers that pimp rides in the TV series? How about good old-fashioned fun? Those all would have been nice additions.

Instead, Pimp My Ride is a bare-bones driving game with weak customization options and a bland setting in Pimp City, the worst-named town since Joe, Montana. At least Xzibit and the crew of voice actors do a great job of harnessing the energy of the show, where junior-college students hopped up on Mountain Dew Code Red have orgasms when X-to-the-Z knocks on their doors. Fans of the show know that Xzibit is a funny guy, and he manages to pull that off here with a few jokes that may or may not induce a snicker.

Here's how PMR works. Select a ride to pimp. These are all unlicensed cars and trucks that are pieces of videogame crap. Go to the owner's house. Induce aforementioned orgasm. All of this is presented in cutscenes where X and the kids communicate telepathically because Activision's lip animator was on vacation the week this game was made.

Proceed to pimp. That means taking the hoopty and cruising around Pimp City in an effort to earn money to buy tricked-out parts and hot tubs and surf racks and HD DVD players. How do you earn money in Pimp City, you ask. Crash into other cars. Duh. For the next 10 minutes as you get behind the wheel of these floaty, poor-handling hunks o' junk, you will crash into other cars of Pimp City, at which time gold coins will explode from their interiors and end up in your virtual piggy bang. In a game that's about fixing up cars, this doesn't make any sense to me. Neither do the lyrics to "Say It To My Face," one of Xzibit's tracks from his new album Full Circle, but at least there's a decent soundtrack to accompany the poor game.

You can also earn dough by cruising. Simply head over to a group of hip-hop fans that just love hanging out on the street. Then slow to 10 mph and press three buttons when prompted and snap! The crowd goes wild. It makes little sense and is not fun.

If cruising isn't your thing, you can ghostride the whip. Simply get out of your ride, crank up the same dance song to 11 over and over again, and do the electric slide in the street as your car idles beside you. To do this, simply press O, O, O, O, O, O, O over and over again until you stand victorious.

After earning enough dough, you can start pimping. That is to say you will race to different garages around the drab and dull looking Pimp City and do similarly stupid mini games (press up and down as fast as you can, rotate the stick as fast as you can, press O, O, O, O) to purchase new parts for the car. There's new paint, rims, interior, body, radio and that special something that PMR the show is known for, like turntables in the trunk.

The only thing of any value here is the special item, and you'll get a good laugh out of the boxer's punching bag or the robotic surf rack or the mechanical bull. None of these play into the game at all -- they are just fun to look at and it's nice to hear the kids' reactions when it's time to show them their pimped rides.

And that's the game. You repeat this ad nauseam, for 16 different rides. There's no real skill to the O, O, O minigames (can't wait to see the strategy guide for this). The driving controls are poor as you can plow through traffic, knocking cars out of the way with ease like traffic checking in Burnout Revenge but a third of the fun. Just great.

Visually, the game suffers from some aliesing issues and is a jaggy mess. The sound is the highlight of Pimp My Ride, with some laugh-out-loud voice acting and a decent soundtrack.

If you wanted to pimp out your own car and take it online and share with your friends, you can't. That's because there's no online or multiplayer play. Why?

"Sucks."

That's why.

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