posted by rimbaud (FREDERICKSBURG, VA) Feb 20, 2008
Member since Dec 2006
gamers (50%) found this review helpful
the graphics aren't "stylized" they're ugly. the characters and environments look super low poly, the high contrast cell shaded black effect is just ugly.
the gameplay is redundant. tap A three times and swing your arm 400 times and you win. mini-games like swinging your wiimote like a bat at flaming baseballs does little to break up the monotony.
the camera is AWFUL.
the story is shallow and dialogue is hoorendous. The whole plot is established in a 5 minute cut scene at the start with absolutely no background information. after which you run about calling people "old man" like 600 times and saying "will you do me" to the female characters. Yes, literally.
the bike is the most god awful poorly programmed means of transport ever created. in order to do a drift turn you have to swing your arm in the OPPOSITE direction!?!!
in summary, ugly game, shallow story, shallow gameplay,
posted by DemonBoy13 (LOS ANGELES, CA) Feb 21, 2008
Member since Nov 2007
gamers (50%) found this review helpful
when you first play it you'll think "its just some cartoony-bad game with lots of blood and cutting in half and bad humor!" but dig deeper... and at about rank 8 you'll start to realize that this is the wii version of Grand Theft auto! I mean. missions to kill. a cool bike to ride. buying weapons. going around town rolling over people. sounds like a grand theft auto to me! now this game goes even as deep as going from taking a dump to save. all the way to going to a trainer who wants to have s e x with you! (yes... a male...) now if taking a dump to save and doing errands for money till you get te money for a mission doesnt sound good for you. how bout changing your cloth? mabye a new sword? no. then you'll surly enjoy playing with your cat and renting videos at "beef head" either way you wil truly have many fun hours with this game
gamers (39%) found this review helpful
I've played my share of bloody games. Gears of War, God of War, Grand Theft Auto.... However, there's a point where it's just gore for the sake of gore. This game broke past that point in the first few moments, sending limbs flying with seriously overdone explosions of blood spraying through the air in all directions.
Not only that, but everything about the game is just plain ugly. The characters are ugly. Their clothes, hair, faces.... They look like they all were hit by a semi as a child even before you add in the low polygon count that would put the GameCube to shame and the Killer 7-esque shading effects.
Not to mention the voice acting is atrocious (and poorly synced). Travis is downright boring to listen too and Sylvia has one of the worst fake accents I have ever heard. Not that the writing is worth it to begin with.
But even with all that set aside, the game is just bad. It mostly consists of identifying the boss's painfully repetitive move pattern, waiting for your opening, then attacking a bunch. Before you can get to the boss, though, you first have to spend time hacking through the legions of identical clone lackeys, all of whom die pretty easily to the standard "lock on, hit A a bunch, then waggle the stick in the direction of the arrow for an over-stylized and insipid kill animation". But you can't even kill baddies without doing odd jobs to get money first.... Yeah, you have to pay them to pay you to kill someone. Confusing much? Not to mention the odd jobs are such stimulating tasks as "mow the lawn!" and "collect the coconuts!".
For a brief, beautiful moment, the game was almost fun. The intro was kinda cool (almost), the first few baddies were kinda fun to kill, and the first boss fight was... meh, but forgivable. Then came the pointless GTA style open world, an uninspiring introductory cutscene, and some coconut gathering. At that point I had lost interest, and it was impossible to get it back.