Metroid: Other M for Wii Reviews by Gamers

Back in 2002, I was dismayed at the notion of Retro Studios changing my beloved free-roaming action/platformer into a FPS. I decided to keep an open mind, and lo and behold, Prime was superb. I even felt that it kept to the spirit of Super Metroid better than the more traditional Metroid Fusion.

Flash forward to 2010, where I hear of a new return to platforming roots, courtesy of Team Ninja. Again, I am apprehensive, but decide to keep an open mind. I mean, there hasn't been a BAD Metroid yet. Well now we can safely say that reputation has been irreversibly tarnished as Metroid: Other M is so putrid, so utterly horrible, that it's probably the single worst game I've played this year.

It's just LAYERS of bad design decisions! Right off the bat, I was perplexed by the game not utilizing the nunchuck, but assumed maybe the controls are 2D. Well, no. You have to awkwardly navigate 3D space without a 3D controler, and no camera control. This is utterly moronic. The thumbstick was used for the N64, BY NINTENDO ITSELF. Analog 3D control has been standard since 1995. Why go back to the archaic, vestigial d-pad? So that you can aim the remote quickly at the screen, to change to first-person, where you can't move. This is what I mean: A bad design decision to facilitate a bad design decision.

The story is the most banal, stereotypical anime style, where unimaginative writers constantly delve into needless, overwrought exposition. Seriously: early in the game, the commander gives orders, and the soldiers respond with a thumbs up. Then the story immediately screeches to a halt for a flashback explaining in EXCRUCIATING detail what the thumbs mean. For me, this writing was game-breaking. So bad, so uninteresting that it DISCOURAGED me from wanting to find out what happened next. Samus is turned from stoic badass to generic whiny anime chick. If you replaced Samus, no one would be saying the story was good.

Summary: Amateur, Unfocused, Sad, Why god why.